what we see depends mainly on what we look for. -john lubbock
i read that quote yesterday and then spent the whole day thinking about it. going over and over in my mind. i don't think of myself as a negative person but i am more cynical that i would like to be. i spent the day thinking about situations that i've been in in, people i've been with, things i have or haven't done, etc. trying to figure out if i had made choices based solely on what i was looking for. a friendship that lasted too long because i was looking for something that wasn't there anymore, a relationship that ended because i was looking for a reason to end it, even seeing random people on the street! how many times have i judged someone about one thing and then used that single judgement to nit pick at everything about them? what's to say that they weren't the coolest person ever and would have made the best bff.
obviously, we can't completely stop seeing what we're looking for. we can, however, make a conscious decision to not judge so quickly, stop being so critical of everyone and everything (including ourselves). there is not one single perfect person on the face of this earth. even prince harry gets into trouble! accept people for who they are and then decide if they're who you want to spend your time with.
as for the past- leave it in the past. stop dwelling over it and move forward! are you happier/ healthier/ less stressed? sometimes the negative things you're looking for is what is actually there- simple as that.